Swamp castle
by Texasman1836
Summary: King Tony and his son live in a swamp, but need land. The only way that will happen is if Garth marries Kate and he does not want to.


In a boggy swamp stood a castle that belonged to King Tony and his son Prince Garth, who had everything they wanted except enough land to grow crops. Tony desired more land so he sent a message to his old friend King Winston, asking if he would give him some of his land. Winston agreed to give him land if Garth would marry his daughter Kate.

"One day, Garth, all this will be yours and you'll be happy," Tony said patting his son on the back. Garth didn't know what his father was talking about. "What? The curtains will be mine, Dad?" he asked as his dad popped him on the head. "Not the curtains, Garth! All the land you see will be yours, but first you must marry King Winston's daughter Kate," said Tony with a smile.

Garth did not know the princess very well, and he certainly was not in love with her. He tried to tell his father that he didn't want to go though with this marriage, but his father would not listen. He was too busy telling Garth about the history of swamp castle.

"Garth, I came out here to make a name for myself, but all the other kings said it was dumb to build a castle in a swamp. I built one just to show'em," he said with pride, "but it sank into the swamp. So I built a second one and that one sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That one burned down, fell over and then sank into the swamp, but the forth one stayed up and that is what you're going to get, Garth," he laughed. "The strongest castle in the land and one that has satellite TV and a Japanese bathhouse!"

Garth just shook his head. "I don't want any of that, I'd rather just howl," said Garth as he raised his head to howl, but his father stopped the music. "Cut that out," he said grabbing his son by the arm. "Look, Garth, we live in dang swamp, we need all the land we can get and that's why you're going to marry Kate this afternoon. Then we can have the land to grow crops and a little weed to smoke!" Tony said with a growl, but Garth just pulled away from his farther and spoke his mind. "I like her, but I don't want to marry her!"

Tony began to lose his temper and started walking around the room, telling his son all that he knew about Kate. She was beautiful, rich, had huge tracks of land, her own sports room and one heck of a little sister named Lilly, but still that didn't change his son's mind at all. Tony thought Garth would just need some time alone to get his mind straight, so he left. Not long afterward, Garth looked out his window and saw King Winston with his family and his youngest daughter Lilly coming to the wedding. Lilly was very close to Garth because they had known each other since childhood. Garth suddenly fell in love with her when he realized she had grown up into a beautiful woman.

When Tony came back with some pies, Garth told him he wanted to marry Lilly. "Dad, I want to marry Lilly. When I saw her three years ago, I made a promise to marry her the next time we met," he said, putting on his crown. Tony grabbed his son and laid it to him straight. "You're marrying Princess Kate today, so you'd best get used to the idea!" he growled, as he smacked his son with one of the pies.

Garth grabbed the tray with the other pies on it and threw them at his father, but Tony ducked and the pies went out the door. Angrily, Winston came into the room followed by his daughters Kate and Lilly. "Why did you hit me with a coconut pie, Kate with a banana cream pie, and Lilly with a custard pie?" Winston asked, grabbing Garth by the neck. "My father is making me marry Kate against my will!" Garth gagged.

When things cooled down, Garth told Winston that he loved Lilly but not Kate. Winston said that Garth and Lilly could marry, because in his kingdom when two people make a vow to marry, they always have to keep the vow. Tony didn't agree, but Winston's wife Queen Eve pulled out her sword to show that he better let Garth and Lilly marry. Later that day, as Garth and Lilly were getting married, a crazy knight came in and killed many of the guests and stabbed Winston. He then rushed up to Garth and pointed his sword at him.

"I'm Sir Humphrey, and I'm here to stop this wedding between you and Kate!" he said angrily, but then saw that the bride was Lilly, not Kate. "Humphrey, my father gave the OK to let Garth and me get married, and then you come in here like you own the place and ruin our wedding," Lilly yelled, as she grabbed a mace and smacked Humphrey over the head with it. "Now I see why Father said you could never have my sister's hand in marriage!"

Tony and Kate gave Humphrey a piece of their minds as well. "You'll burn for killing the guests and my father, Humphrey. You better say every prayer you've heard before!" yelled Kate, as Tony's guards grabbed him. "I really didn't mean to, Kate," he said, trying to defend himself. "Didn't mean to!?" yelled Tony. "You put your sword right through his head and that's going to cost me some land!" Suddenly they all heard a weak voice say, "I'm not quite dead yet!" It was King Winston.

"I can explain," Humphrey begged, as the executioner raised his ax in the air, ready to chop off his head. "I was riding north from my father's kingdom. His name is Hiram and..." but Tony held the executioner at bay.

"You are the son of King Hiram?" asked Tony. "Yes," Humphrey replied. Tony ordered that Humphrey be freed, and Eve also gave him permission to marry Kate because she was an old friend of Hiram. Later that day, Garth, Lilly and Eve went to the tallest tower to see the wedding of Kate and Humphrey. Tony was watching the wedding from the courtyard with his captain, when his royal robe got caught on a catapult's lever. "I guess I won't be seeing Humphrey for a long time," he said, turning to leave, but his robe pulled the lever and the catapult launched a rock at the tower where Garth, Lilly and Eve were standing with Kate and Humphrey. Garth saw the rock coming, his jaw dropped, and he held out a small sign that read 'This is going to hurt!'. The rock hit the tower, it came tumbling down, and Garth crawled out of the rubble with Lilly, Kate, Humphrey and Eve. "Some fairy tale this is!" cried Lilly, but all Garth said was, "Garth not feel so good!" as he fell to the ground.

THE END.

THIS STORY WAS INSPIRED BY MONTY PYTHON, LOONY TOONS AND "GARTH NOT FEEL SO GOOD" WAS TAKEN FROM DISNEY'S GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE.


End file.
